I realize that taste is subjective. Especially when it comes to food. Odd things I love would turn other people’s stomachs and vice versa. I for one will never understand the urge to slide raw oysters down one’s throat. *shudder* But certain things most people agree are gross. Like this.

It doesn’t look that bad, does it? It starts off innocent enough. Half a banana, a cup of orange juice, some whey powder… but then it’s fiber time. Lots of fiber. Cardboard refrigerator boxes of fiber. Psyllium husks, wheat germ, ground flaxseeds, chia seeds… and I’m pretty sure the chia seeds are the same thing you use to grow “hair” on those clay faces – ch-ch-ch-chia! Then you add 600mg of fish oil. Ok, it sounds pretty bad now, yes? But I trust the good doctor. Trust with a capital T. Like even when I don’t believe anything anyone says about nutrition, I believe him.

So I blended it up. I added the 3 optional ice cubes – because cold is better for these sorts of things. And I took a sip. I shuddered. I vurped in my mouth a bit. But I was naive. I trusted the doctor. I thought maybe it just needed to be colder. So I stuck it in the freezer for 5 minutes. I tasted it again. I realized that there was no way I was ever gonna be able to stomach that concoction.  So instead I took more pictures of it.

It congealed. Like into gelatinous, gritty, slimy sludge. And yes, the spoon is being held up by the “smoothie”.

Now wait, you may be saying. Maybe I let it set too long. But no…. the article with the recipe had a lovely lady who claimed she made a big batch of it at the beginning of the week and drank it all week long. She’s got to be kidding me. By the way, does my smoothie look anything like the “tasty concoction” in the magazine? I don’t think so.

Wait, you gotta see the action shot. Yeah. How’s that for an appetite suppressant? Maybe that’s how it helps you lose weight. Dr. Oz, I will never trust you again. Tasty my ass. Ooh, wait, maybe that’s what it tastes like.

So today is Day One. With capital letters even. I started my training for the 3-Day Breast Cancer walk with a solid hour of walking. Ok, so I had a cupcake for lunch instead of the sludgy shake of doom. But I walked for an hour!

And just for the record I completely disposed of the shake. Because I’m pretty sure it would take form and come and eat me in my sleep if I left it in the cup overnight.

I love to cook. Really. A whole lot. And one of the hardest things about Florida is that all summer long (which last like 8 months!) it is too hot to turn on the oven. But not today. Today was a very good day for using the oven. So I did. I’ve made this apple cake before, but  I never seem to get any pictures of it. Maybe because it doesn’t last. Maybe because no matter how good of a picture I take, it will never measure up to the awesome pics that the Pioneer Woman takes. But here’s a view…

It tastes even better than it looks. Even better than it looks on her blog. The carmelized bits get kind of chewy/crunchy when the cold ice cream hits them, and it just screams fall with it’s appley-cinnamon goodness. It  might even be good with cinnamon ice cream. Such a delicious recipe. Actually every single recipe I’ve made from her blog has been delicious. Give her a look-see.

I’ve been feeling overly domestic lately. Baking lots of bread, lots of home cooked meals and new recipes. I’m blaming it on fall, but it’s hard to say. I got a breadmaker for $3.50 the other day at the thrift store. I’ve been using it like crazy. I got the manual for it online and everything is working perfectly. It’s awesome!

This bread below however, did *not* come from a breadmaker. This is the basic boule recipe from Artisan Bread in Five Minutes A Day. And it really is that fast. The dough mixes up in no time. There is no kneading. Let me say that again – there is NO kneading. You keep the dough in the fridge and just break off a piece, let it rise and then bake it. Delicious!

In the knitting world, I finished my new shawl pattern that has been named Argante.  I bound off tonight (all 2 stitches of it!) and will soak it in a few minutes for blocking. The shaping came out perfectly – you can see how nicely the short-row method I used looks in the picture below. Can’t wait to see what this beauty blocks out like!

Oh and speaking of bees, I have a joke for ya. What kind of bees give milk? Wait for it…. Boobies!

So today I’m sick. And in between general house tidying, shuttling the boys to and fro, making dinner, and oh yeah, all the other normal things I do in a day, I’ve been sitting on my bahookie. Because the being up leads to sometimes the head moving which leads to the woozy which leads to the bad. So when I could I stayed in my chair. I didn’t want to sleep because then I wouldn’t sleep at night. Which is why I was online when the lovely Kris of Sonny & Shear linked this particular treasure on facebook.

So I spent the better part of my day researching this interesting little phenomenon.  Apparently these lovely folks have a lot that is actually a tidge smaller than ours, but last year they reaped 6000 pounds of food. Now granted they have chickens and goats, which are sadly illegal in city limits here. But even if I made a serious effort to just produce fruits and veggies – well I could make a difference, couldn’t I? You know I really believe I could. In our lives, our health, and tiny babysteps to help the environment.

These were harvested from our pathetic little garden beds today. I admit that a lot of the pathetic-ness of the situation is my fault. I do not have a green thumb. I tend to kill plants, so I avoid helping with the gardening. But the fact of the matter is I’m home. I can garden. And it would be a good thing. So I’m gonna buckle down and do it.

Fortunately I live in Florida. Where the growing season is kind of non-stop. There is always something that can be planted. And I got a bit overwhelmed today thinking about canning and freezing and bumper crops. But then I realized, I have to grow the stuff first. I can learn the rest of it along the way. Stay tuned for what I hope will be a continuing series on this little adventure.

So it was a rather unremarkable Wednesday. The man was off work, and he and the boys were in the back doing yardwork. Something with ratchet straps and the clubhouse and I really just try to stay out of these things and make sure they have enough water to drink. Anyhow, I thought I would be a good Betty Homemaker. So I pulled out my shortbread pan, and mixed up some oatmeal shortbread.

It’s the simplest recipe ever. 1 cup flour, 3 tbsp. sugar, 1 stick of butter. Mix flour and sugar, and cut in butter. Add 1/3 cup rolled oats. Bake at 325 for 20-25 minutes. The edges should be a nice golden brown. Immediately after removing it from the oven, spread one cup of butterscotch chips over the top. As they melt, smooth them out. Let cool and then enjoy. Shortbread is love, right?

Let me tell you about this shortbread pan. For like three years I admired it at the Scottish Festival. But it was pricey to me, and I couldn’t justify it. But finally the man said (well shouted actually) “Just buy it!!!” He argued that I made shortbread regularly, it would make me happy, all that rot. He was right. So I finally bought it.

Being the happy domestic diva that I was yesterday, I was getting ready to run up to the store. It was nearly lunchtime and Publix had fresh pineapple on sale. And the boys love nothing more than fresh pineapple. So I went to check on the yardworkers, and the man asked if I could make some iced tea.

This is when things got dicey.

I figured I should make the tea before I went to the store, so it would have time to cool. So I filled a pan with water, turned the burner on high, set a timer for five minutes, and came to check some things on the computer. The sight that greeted me in five minutes was kind of horrifying. I must tell you that I didn’t smell or hear *anything* during those five minutes. The only reason I got up from my chair was the dinging of the timer.

As I entered the kitchen I saw about 10-12 inch flames shooting from the stove. I had turned on the wrong burner! The one that had the cooling shortbread on it! The kitchen was filled with billowing smoke and my beloved shortbread pan was cracking into pieces before my very eyes. I quickly doused the fire, and opened up the house to start getting the smoke out. When I finally got to Publix I ended up spending $35 on Vanilla Febreeze candles, but the house still has a faint tinge of smoke to it.

Oh and you were wondering about the shortbread?

And yes, this seems to be a trend. The prosecution presents exhibit A : the panbowl, and exhibit B: the pie made of fail.

I’ve been experimenting with artsy photographs of stuff. Today it was food, buckeyes to be specific. Chocolate-peanut-butter perfection.

I’ve also been experimenting in the dyepot. And in the food vein, I present the Retro Candy yarns: Candy Corn, Strawberry Pop Rocks, Nerds, Cotton Candy, Cherryheads, and Bubble Gum Cigar.

More experiments later. After I catch up on some much needed sleep.

I’ve had an urge lately. The urge to bake. But I’m being healthy eating woman, and eating half a pan of lemon bars will not help me in my quest to reduce the size of my arse. And I spend way too much time alone to be trusted with baked goods. And not to brag, but I’m very good at the baked goods. Ask my friends. Are they wearing bigger jeans than they used to? Yeah, part of that is because of my baking.

Anyhow, I’ve been suppressing my urge to bake. It wasn’t that hard. It’s been pretty hot here – 90’s most days. And that is not conducive to baking. But then yesterday it started to rain. It’s still raining by the way. And it’s cold. No, really. It’s been in the 50’s and 60’s. This is Florida my friend. The Sunshine State. Where the orange blossoms grow. This is not a state where 60 in late May is anywhere near normal.

So I had to do it. I had to bake. Throw in the fact that the boys bridge over in Cub Scouts tomorrow to the next level and I’m supposed to bring cake?!?!?! What is a girl supposed to do with these overwhelming urges? And I’ve really been wanting to make cupcake bites ala Bakerella. So this morning, in the pouring rain, I hit one cake supply store, two craft stores, and three grocery stores and found the supplies I needed.

Note the yellow candy melts and the navy blue m&ms. These are Cub Scout colors. I was so excited. I just knew that a platter of these cupcake bites was gonna be the hit of the pack meeting. And may I present the finished product:

Um, yeah. Want another view?

I’m underwhelmed. Totally. First off these are very time-consuming. But I make mountains of buckeyes every Christmas. Time-consuming means nothing to me. That I could handle. But the dipping into the yellow? Ugh. And rada rada. When you hold the mini cupcakes by the chocolate base it starts to immediately melt in your fingers. Which makes it not so pretty. And the dipping by that method was much harder than buckeye dipping. I may have to attempt putting toothpicks or something into the base of the cupcake bites to dip them. Otherwise they will all look wonky like you see above.

So I fix the dip. And they probably need some sprinkles in addition to the blue m&m. It just looks kind of forlorn sitting there. But I can’t really solve the real problem.

The actual cake part of the cupcake bite is a mixture of crumbled cake and frosting mixed together and shaped into balls. Which sounds great in theory. But in practice the texture is rather um, disgusting to me. It’s mushy and dry at the same time. And I let the baked cake cool thoroughly, so I know that’s not the problem. I just feel like the mushy filling doesn’t have any tooth against the hard candy shells. I don’t know. I so wanted to love them. And I certainly dropped a pretty penny getting all the crap together. But I’m disappointed.

So I want to be a math teacher or professor when I grow up, right? So of course I like pi. And I *love* to cook, so I also like pie. So how is that I forgot today was pi(e) day? I don’t know. But when I realized I ran to the store and made a cheater’s dinner and dessert. I cheated because I bought frozen pie crust. But it was still good.

First up we had quiche for dinner. Ham and cheese, and delicious! (Yes I forgot to take a picture before we cut it.)

Then for dessert we had fresh strawberry pie.

With *real* whipped cream – i.e. not out of a can OR a tub.

Don’t you wish you lived here? Or were at least invited for dinner once in a while?

I started a new sweater. I think it’s gonna be an epic win. It’s the soon to be formerly named Norah sweater by Indigirl (Amy Swenson) and it’s really just made of beautiful. I love the lines. I love the fact that I had the perfect pile of Malabrigo sitting in my house waiting to be this sweater. I love that I got to start it and work on it during some really beautiful days spent in the park (hence the frisbee/picnic table portrait).

Obviously I’ve been in a foul mood lately. That’s why the absence from blogging. If you don’t have anything nice to say, well come sit by me. Seriously though. Sometimes I have to mentally slap myself and remind myself that I have nothing to be grumpy about. At all. Geesh.

Oh and the polenta? Dude. I went to Native Sun today to get some nutritional yeast. We’ve been out of it for way too long. I love a bowl of polenta with some butter spray and nutritional yeast sprinkles. Trust me, it’s really good. But today when I went to put the dry polenta away in the cupboard over the stove…

In other epic win news, the dyeing has been going spectacularly well. I mean even better than I had hoped for. The store will be opening any day now. Watch this space.

I took the boys to the produce market this morning. I gave them cart control and told them to pick out whatever they wanted. And I threw some things in as well of course. We got a little bit of everything, including three different kinds of pears. We’re gonna have a pear taste test to see which one we like best. And lots of strawberries because they smelled so freaking good. That is one thing that is very good about living in Florida. Even in the winter you can get fresh local produce. Sweet potatoes, corn, spinach, broccoli, red peppers… all kinds of yummy goodness. And I’m not great at healthy eating but I do know that eating tons of this stuff will only do me good.

In other healthy news the boys and I hit the park this morning and did day one of the Couch to 5K program. It wasn’t easy, as I’ve been quite the couch potato lately, but I did it. And so did the boys. I figure it’s important to establish the exercise habit now while it’s nice. Because once summer hits it’s impossible to get going.

I think I’m gonna go and slice some strawberries for lunch. Nummers.